Category Archives: Relationships

If a Man Wants You… MY Version.

“If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If a man doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.”

I keep seeing this quote on girl’s pages.

And I know as they read it over and over again to themselves, they are gleefully giggling, thinking “yeah, yeah, ain’t that the truth.”

“If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away?”

Love is not supposed to hurt, or be carried with regret. Love can not be put on hold, and is one of the hardest things to let go. Love is not selfish, love should not be selfish.

A man once promised me, that he had changed and that he would never break my heart. He confessed his love for me, and I trusted that he loved me.

I have grown as a woman over the years, but I have also grown as a person. I know what I want, what I don’t want, what I need, and what I need to let go of. I know a man who knows what he wants, knows what I don’t want, knows what he needs, and knows what I need. I know a man that realizes there is a girl out there, who loves to love her man. This man knows that at times, the only way to save the one you love from getting hurt is not by letting them go, but letting them know, you’ve always loved them and you always will.

I know a man unlike any other man. Because he’s never cheated, he’s never lied; he tells me what it is, no matter what it is. He loved me enough to let me go, until he bettered himself. He loved me enough, to let me go, rather then hurt me along the way.

Therefore when I hear about all these women getting cheated on, knowing it, ignoring it… I can’t help but pity them.

They know it, but figure if he’s staying, he must love them. If he’s coming home every night, they’re content, thinking “he’s home so everything must alright.”

If a man loves you, he will NEVER stay and hurt you. If a man loves you, he will not buy you gifts to make up for the guilt of constantly cheating on you. If a man loves you he will let you go rather then stay and lie, deny, just to keep you guessing. If a man wants to be considered a man, he must posses the qualities of a man, a good man.

“If a man doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay?”

A man once told me, “If I stay with you, you’ll have to put up with the same life.
Im not ready for change yet”, he would tell me. “I’ll never leave you, but I won’t stay to hurt you either.” If a man wants you, nothing will allow him to hurt you, if a man doesn’t want you, nothing can keep him faithful.”

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back, it was meant to me. If not, it never was….

The Genius of Toni Morrison

“You think because he doesn’t love you that you are worthless. You think that because he doesn’t want you anymore that he is right — that his judgement and opinion of you are correct. If he throws you out, then you are garbage. You think he belongs to you because you want to belong to him. Don’t. It’s a bad word, ‘belong.’ Especially when you put it with somebody you love. Love shouldn’t be like that. Did you ever see the way the clouds love a mountain? They circle all around it; sometimes you can’t even see the mountain for the clouds. But you know what? You go up top and what do you see? His head. The clouds never cover the head. His head pokes through, beacuse the clouds let him; they don’t wrap him up. They let him keep his head up high, free, with nothing to hide him or bind him. You can’t own a human being. You can’t lose what you don’t own. Suppose you did own him. Could you really love somebody who was absolutely nobody without you? You really want somebody like that? Somebody who falls apart when you walk out the door? You don’t, do you? And neither does he. You’re turning over your whole life to him. Your whole life, girl. And if it means so little to you that you can just give it away, hand it to him, then why should it mean any more to him? He can’t value you more than you value yourself.”
— Toni Morrison

Relationships Do Not Have Guidelines

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Many people in today’s society seem to believe that entering a relationship comes with a set guidebook of rules, regulations & responsibilities. As true as this may be, every couple, or every person I should say, has different needs and wants in a relationship. To me, it’s not about the act of being in a relationship or in love. It’s not about feeling incomplete without them, it’s not about being lonely & depressed when they’re gone from your life. Love happens naturally when you suddenly meet a person you can not live your day to day life without… There are no unwritten or written rules, there are no set standards of loving. Every person has different ways of achieving and maintaing happiness; the key is to find someone who will effortlessly add to it. But for any relationship to work they primary key is personal satisfaction and happiness. Do not waste your time clinging on to someone out of personal insecurity; you will make their life hell and probably have you feeling worse about yourself then you ever did. Love is not a cure to insecurity. It is an additive to happiness. Romantic love is no different than any other love & should not be viewed as something that requires effort & work to survive. There will always be disagreements. There will always be arguments. There will always be unhappy moments. That’s life.